Expectations

I've been trying as hard as possible to not put any expectations on this journey. And I feel like I've been doing a great job. It's easy to not expect anything when you don't know what to expect. More than anything, though, I think I've been deceiving myself into thinking I had no expectations. It hasn't been anything more than a lie.
I'm expecting something great to happen over there. I'm expecting some magical change to take place, so that I can go there, come back, and be a totally different person. And I've been expecting it so much, that I feel like going through the motions is enough to see this change happen. Simply going over there will change me, regardless of what happens.
I need to get out of this frame of mind. I can expect change, and I don't have a problem with it, but when I lull myself into a state of expectancy of this change, and feel like I won't have to work for it at all, that's when I run into a problem. I need to prepare myself to make a change in my life while I'm in South Africa. That's the only way I will see any lasting change upon my return.