I'm tired of waiting

I've been waiting for years now. A year and a half to be exact. After I got to APU, I needed a break.
I was burnt out on ministry, and felt like I couldn't really do anything. Especially with me planning on going into a leadership role in Youth Ministry, I couldn't handle the idea of leading people at the time, and had been advised to take a break for the year. Freshman year I avoided ministry opportunities, and didn't get involved at a church. Summer, I led a Vacation Bible School Recreation class, but that's the extent of my leadership over the past year and a half.
First half of Sophomore year, I didn't really to anything. I had a church I wanted to get involved in, but I didn't feel comfortable. I knew I was going to South Africa, and I knew I wouldn't be around for long enough to begin to invest in people who would be relying on me. So I just waited. I was going to South Africa, so I couldn't get involved in anything. And now that I'm going to actually do something, I'm nervous. I'm ready to finally do something, but I'm nervous. And I'm wondering if it will live up to the expectations I've created for it over the last 2 years.