I've known about this for at least 2 years.

Why am I not ready for it?
Today, as I was preparing Lasagna for dinner for my family, I couldn't help but think about the fact that I'm leaving so soon. On Saturday morning I'm returning to California, so I only have two more days in AZ. Then, I have 10 days in California before I leave for South Africa.
I'm not ready for this at all. I prepared last semester a little. I've been to South Africa before for a week. I've prepared while I've been at Azusa. But this break, these past three weeks, has just been a slump for me. And now, I have two more days in Arizona before I won't see any of these people for 4 months.
Don't get me wrong. I'm so excited. And I could post fun videos like everyone else who's doing a blog (It was my idea first. Trust me.). And I can't wait to spend time with the awesome people that are going, and I could talk about it, and tell you how many awesome things I'm going to be doing, and show you pictures from friends going and all that jazz.
Despite that excitement, I'm nervous as hell. I started my packing today, and said goodbye to some of my friends, and realize that, when I wake up this morning, I will have 48 hours left with the people I love here before I leave. I want to go to South Africa so badly, and I'm so excited. But I don't really want to go now. I would love to go in a month, because I don't feel ready. But I don't think I'll be ready.
This culture shock that's coming? That's inevitable. That's needed. That's what will make the impact on me. But it scares the hell out of me. I'm bouncing between anxiety and excitement, and right now, with everyone in my house asleep and me feeling along, the anxiety is winning. I don't know how to fix this either.